Physical therapy is like that. Don't be fooled by the name. PT is derived from the two english words, "Therapy" and "Physical". Therapy- meaning treatment by some remedial, rehabilitating, or curative process,1 - and physical - meaning characterized by, or liking rough physical contact or strenuous physical activity.2 And therein lies the problem. These two words go together about as well as double-fudge chocolate ice-cream and anchovies. A typical PT session goes something like this:
Therapist: How does doing that feel?What I have learned though, is there are two types of muscles: The kind physical therapists think exist, which look like lean, flexible rubber-bands, and the kind that actually exist, which look more like shriveled strips of bacon fried in an trash incinerator. Also, any time the phrases "this might hurt" and "for your own good" come up, your body is about to do something that defies the general laws of physics. Considering those laws were developed purely to enable people to have access to apples without stretching up to get them, I have decided all physical therapists are actually sadist antagonists from another dimension. In fact, since the presence of other dimensions are supported by the string theory (which i once heard has something to do with rubber bands), this actually makes some sense.
Me: Not too bad.
Therapist: Oh? Ok, let's try this.
Me: You want me to put my foot behind my head?
Therapist: Only as far as you're comfortable with.
Me: It feels good on the ground.
Therapist: Let's just try.
Me: I'm stuck!
Therapist: Great! Let's do three sets of 15!
Me: ... You do realize it's my shoulder that hurts, right?
Therapist: Everything's connected. Remember, stop if you feel pain.
Me: I've lost all feeling in my lower extremities, and I'm pretty sure my big toe is lodged in my left ear.
Therapist: Maybe you're not ready for this yet, but we're definitely making progress!
The mural of the story? Fool me once, shame on... shame on... you can't get fool by an OB-GYN.
photo via Susan Sterner, The White House (US-PD)