Mr. Cardinal first made his presence known by rapping on the window pane while The Candid Counselor was hard at work. Initially, this development was thrilling. There may even have been exclamations of "How cute!", "Lookit him ruffle his feathers!", and "Awww... he thinks we're playing a game of Peck-a-Boo!"
Several thousand pecks, a life-time's supply of Asprin, and multiple return visits later; he was not quite so cute. We began to notice the little mannerisms - how he would center himself in the window and flap at us when we came closer to inspect and shoo him away. We watched in awe as his little head bobbed back and forth and twisted side-to-side, glaring at us with one beady eye or the other. A simple truth slowly dawned.
He wants to eat our souls. And our little dog's too.
Now, when I moved into my office at work, there was a contraption left behind. After inquiry, it was determined the intention of this contraption was to deter birds from perching along the roof of our building. It looked something like this:
A plan began churning. Several puncture wounds, a trip to the doctor's, and one tetanus shot later,
Considering it may be best to find a coping mechanism, I have decided to imagine this little bird is up there telling his idea of hilarious jokes.
Cardinal: Peck peck peck?
Me: Who's There?
Me: Robin who?
Cardinal: Robin' your soul tonight and EATING IT FOR DINER!
Cardinal: SquackSqauckSquackSquack!! (<-that is how they sound when laughing)
Editor's note: The above may also be how it sounds when a grown man is strangling a little bird's half-inch-wide neck. Just saying -
True, it's entirely possible this little bird is just confused. Maybe he saw our delicious dinner one evening and thinks he's a swallow; thus deserving a bite... Or maybe he's lonely and thought the 'chick peas' looked hot... I only know for sure that he has left me in a fowl mood. What I can do is guarantee you this - if he keeps it up - he will soon be a poultrygeist.
Quoth the Cardinal, 'PeckPeckPeckPeckSQUACK'!
spikes of death image was shared from here