(Skip to the FAQS, Ma'am - just the FAQS)
First I would like to very politely point out, it is not pronounced "You Ess Ay Becker dot Com." I promise. How should you pronounce it? Well, imagine a little girl squishing a bug for the first time... Got it? Good. Now imagine playing a heated game of chubby bunny and trying to say "sir". Now, say it with me: "Ewww-Suh-Becker-dot-Com". Great Job!
General and Legal stuff:
The Village is a weblog dedicated to bringing you humorous stories from the village idiot and
Post Image: This is the first graphic made for usabecker.com at this site's inception nearly eight years ago. It was recently ransomed from my old server and it just seemed fitting to have it preserved online somewhere. Also, the "itself" is where the "i" in my little favicon comes from. But if you thought it stood for "idiot", we certainly understand. The image is shared under a creative commons BY-NC-SA license.
Site title image: This is an image of the Hurricane Isabel, taken from the international space station. Original image can be viewed here and is credited to NASA.
Site background image: This photo was obtained from Public-domain-image.com
Q: Why do you think you need a FAQs section?
A: I have always wanted one.
Q: I noticed you have really bad grammar. You even spelled it "grammer" in one post. I wanted to leave a comment and let you know about your bad grammar, but I don't want to offend you. Is English actually your first language?
A: Sometimes my dog writes my posts. It is very hard for him to hit the right keys, what with his big paws and all. Also, he once chewed through a tin can. You probably don't want to make him mad.
Q: Is your dog actually a goat?
Q: About your site title... Did you just really like that M. Night Shamalamy Movie?
A: I did.
Q: Why is there a sign about falling cows in your title? That's Crazy!
A: Falling cows is a very serious matter. Do not take it lightly. I am simply trying to raise awareness. Before this phenomenon started, Cows in California were happy. Now? Not as much.
A: I would probably write FAQs with the answer first.
Q: What would you do if you were Alex Trebek?
Q: You used to have a really cool post about boogers. What happened to that?
A: I have become more mature. I now refer to boogers as KFCs (Krusty Finger Chunks)
Q: Because they are Finger Picking Good?
A: Now that's just disgusting. Why would you say something like that?
Q: Fine. What about all that other stuff? You said this site is eight years old..
A: Well, the URL is. This site was on a private server. There was some disagreement over whether I should actually be paying my server bills.
Q: Will there actually be anything useful or worth reading on this FAQ?
A: Yes, the next FAQ may be useful.
Q: I saw my site linked in your side bar. Why did you do that?
A: Sites listed under "The Census" are web sites I have come across and enjoy. Inclusion in this list in no way indicates endorsement of The Village or any content therein (or vice versa). The "Picture Links" are small businesses or creative endeavors that The Village is enthusiastic about. They are not paid advertisements. If you find your website linked somewhere on The Village and wish to be removed or linked with an alternate graphic, please let me know.
Q: Do you really think "Krusty Finger Chunks" is more mature than "Boogers?"